Context: I saw Gully Boy yesterday. And I've been listening to the sound track pretty much on loop since morning today. I was on a flight from Hong Kong to Beijing this morning when suddenly inspiration struck...
After many many days, I suddenly feel this urge to write,
To think, to feel, to just get it out.
Feels weird to hold a pen again.
The grip is off.
The speed is gone.
There is a flow but I don't really know.
A part of me is sad inside,
A bit rushed and maybe mad too.
I feel like I'm letting life happen to me,
Work is sweeping me away,
Conversations with friends & family are whiling time away,
There doesn't seem to be a plan,
a clear goal or even a dream.
Work is getting hectic and I'm scared inside,
of being swept away by the tide.
There is noise, there is smoke,
and I'm kind of afloat.
I wish I could take the reins in my hand,
chart my course and have a plan.
I can't figure what has changed or even what is missing,
all I know I'm not in the game.
I used to be good at this,
I knew my place,
I knew the rhythm,
I knew the pace.
I wish I could pause the speed,
Just calm down and feel the breeze,
Sit by the water and take a deep breath,
Let the thoughts wash over me, and just rest.
Am I in a rat race, I ask myself?
Is this what I dreamt of when I slept in bed?
I know not everything works out,
some things must just flow,
but I wish I could just take things a bit slow.
Take some time to finish my to-dos, catch up on my bills,
wrap up my emails and stock up on some energy pills.
Maybe the pace will always continue,
I wish I could split myself, into parallel tracks and get everything done.
That's not a reality and I know the key word is to prioritize.
I hate the jargon but it's probably true.
I don't need the pills but maybe I just bit off more than I could chew.
This writing has been kind of fun, I feel younger and maybe a lot lighter too.
I don't know if I'll continue rhyming but I'm smiling at myself and these words in blue.
:)
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