Remembering Avanti

There are days which shock you, days which you live like you were a zombie, days when you don't know what's happening... days when you don't want to accept reality.

My closest, oldest and best friend, Avanti Desai, passed away on 23.10.2008. In a train accident at Jogeshwari station. I got to know from a friend of mine who was her colleague for quite some months...

Avanti, the friend who was with me ever since nursery... went to school with, and then she shifted to Powai. This distance in fact brought us closer. Though we met rarely, we shared a strong connection. Here's what she'd written for me as a testimonial on orkut, "Ayesha is my oldest friend. Which is why I can meet her twice in a year and still call her my best friend."

We shared so many beautiful moments together, it's hard to actually pick a few.

Whenever I think about her, I have flashes of her vivacious smile, her warm face and her quick wit! Being well-read she was informed about everything, plus she read a lot of variety of books, the kinds I would literally be intimidated by. There was a time, when she left our school PTVEM and shifted to Hiranandani School, when I thought that perhaps now we won't connect. But that was never meant to be. We were mature enough to understand changes, and our connection just grew stronger each time.

During times when people would scoff at you, Avanti would stand by you. I remember her telling me, don't worry about people, do what you feel right. She was highly opinionated and would always question each thought. Way back in 2nd standard, when faced with choosing priorities amongst friends, while most of us made the choices, she was the one who asked "why?".

Being the cleanliness freak that I was, her messy room and messy cupboard would always irk me. Until one time, when I visited her new home at Powai for the first time and (she later told me this) that I sat in the hall chatting with her mother, refusing to step down with her until she cleaned her room and cupboard. I can't believe she actually did it! When I went to her place on hearing about her accident, her mother asked me to go see her room. What would you expect? Spick and span. As clean as it could be.

I wish I could tell her how proud of her I am. For the thoughts she voiced, for the strength that she possessed, for the beautiful person that she was.

We shared a lot of passions, there are very few girls who can be passionate about make-up and politics and books and languages and films all at the same time! Avanti was such a person. We had made projects on Egypt, she was fascinated by Ramses II while I was taken in by Tutankhamun. Then she even had this dream of being a Ghost-Hunter!

There was this one time when I was meeting an acquaintance for the first time, and she was with me... She very cooly carried off an attitude and a lie about being a school teacher and what her experiences were and the guy was completely taken for a ride! I was barely managing to keep a straight face and just couldn't control myself when we finally told him the truth! I can still recall the look on her face then!

Times when she called me up just out of nowhere to talk about life, her friends, her experiences, her thoughts, the times she felt low, times when she just wanted to be heard.

I don't have any pictures of her, her image is burned in my mind forever. Her smile, and enthusiasm are like a beacon for my way ahead.

I love her and always will... She is my guiding angel.